Naming the Flock

A Peculiarly Plural People

Photo by Pixaby

We all know about a “gaggle of geese” and a “pride of lions.” We may be less familiar with a “congress of baboons” – though more familiar with the reverse. And we delight in these quirky combinations. Still, the careful reader may wonder from whence they came. In 1486 Dame Juliana Barnes is thought to have published the Book of St Albans. Barnes is traditionally supposed to have been prioress of the nunnery of Sopwell near St Albans. The Book of St Albans full title was A Treatyse Perteynynge to Hawkynge, Huntynge and Coote Armiris – and dealt, unsurprising, in spite of old spellings, with hawking, hunting, and coats of arms. It contained a great deal of practical information about those subjects, including reference to the correct nouns of assemblage for the creatures and persons. As English language developed new peculiar plurals were developed – “a troop of kangaroos,” “a clutter of cats,” and “an army of frogs.”

This is all well and good, you say, but so what? Simply that no classification has ever been so developed for groupings of various religious bodies. Certainly this was less a problem in Dame Juliana’s time where denominational differences were dealt with via dungeon, fire and sword. But today’s spiritual scene swims with various Ichthus. And those of us involved in ecumenism or the sociological study of religion grow tired of saying “those Methodists over there” or “behold the Presbyterians, in whom there is no guile.” So I humbly propose (perhaps in hawking back to Dame Juliana’s religious roots) beginning a classification system for various types of Christians. And forthwith I present the following to get the ecclesiastical ball rolling.

• A Quietude of Quakers

• A Propriety of Presbyterians

• A Mass of Catholics

• A Sanctification of Wesleyans

• A Glossolalia of Pentecostals

• A Curative of Charismatics

• An Election of Calvinists

• A Justification of Lutherans

• A Litany of Episcopalians

• An Atonement of Nazarenes

• A Diversity of Liberals

• A Progress of Progressives

• A Fastidious of Fundamentalists

• An Enthusiasm of Evangelicals

The above is only a beginning. I invite suggestions for inclusion in future lists. Send them to this Substack —subject line “Dame Juliana’s List Update.”